A couple of days ago, I burst into anger due to a very small reason.  My 3-year-old girl was busy playing her tablet while I was extremely busy catching up the household chores before the clock hit at 9:30 am.  My online job starts at 9:30, by the way. You see how my life goes almost everyday? Doing household chores, taking care my little one, and working at 9:30. I was like a wonder woman!

Anyway..

All of a sudden, I heard a big scream from my little girl (actually an annoying scream), murmuring that her tablet got lowbat. I said "I will get the tablet charged", and you could play again in 3-4 hours later until it will be fully charged. To keep her busy and not also to distract me with what I was currently doing, I temporarily handed her my phone.

Minutes later, she again screamed.  I approached to see what made her complain and then I found out the "YouTube" she was supposed to watch was buffering all the time. I explained in a gentle tone that the internet was very slow (though I knew she didn't understand what internet meant).  But again, she persistently complained and accidentally dropped my phone on the floor.

Out of  anger, I yelled at the top of my lungs.  I yelled not only because of the undesirable behavior she demonstrated, it's also because my phone dropped on the floor.  I have been fuming with exasperation, wanting to spank her.  My nerves were shaking all over. My tongue got sharp and so unkind, even I , couldn't believe I uttered those hurtful words which I won't mention anymore. She cried out loud and I got annoyed even more, so I pulled her hand going to her father who was currently working that time.

A few minutes later, my husband brought back my child to me but I said "please stay her away from me until I calm down". I went to our room to get some sleep trying to forget everything but it didn't help at all. I instead went to take a bath to cool me down, at least.  After that, I was a bit mesmerized. A remorse was suddenly felt deep inside me. I realized "OH MY,  WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY LITTLE CHILD?" SHAME ON ME.

An evening later of the same day, I prayed and asked forgiveness from God. I confessed that I have sinned. I got angry easily. I lose my temper quickly. I asked for guidance, enlightenment, and most of all a longer patience. That's what I lack for now - PATIENCE, PATIENCE. I came to realize that yelling out of anger is not healthy especially yelling in front at the very young eyes of our child.  It's my fault, it's I who commits the sin, not my child. After all, she's just a toddler who needs quality time and extra understanding which I failed to give on that day.

via: http://jessconnell.com/stress-yelling-and-sin/

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Is anyone among you still dateless this Valentine?
Feeling no one cares and minds?
Fret Not
Because there's someone up there
Whom you can talk anytime, anywhere
Not only during Valentine's day
But in every single day
I assure you He won't break your heart
And will never make His promises apart
Just invite Him into your life
and He will make your heart full of delight.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! - by JCL

via: http://www.crosscards.com/cards/holidays/valentines-day-2-4/gods-favorite.html

I would be forever grateful if you help my blog grow by liking my facebook page here. Your single click means a lot to me. Thank you so much.

via: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/i-can-t-keep-calm-because-i-m-turning-33-today/

When I first heard from our neighbor's yaya who is older than me (intuition), calling me "Ate", both of my ears rang. I began to question myself in silence, "Do I look old that made her say that? I am not used to be called "Ate",  unless if someone calling me is obviously younger.  So I asked the yaya about her age and I found out then that she's only a few months younger than me. At least, I was clarified (hehe). One day, another yaya called me "Ate", but this time, I can tell that she's younger than me. Ok, acceptable.

Those two ladies remind me that I am not getting any younger anymore. I accept the fact wholeheartedly,  though there were several occasions that I still feel like I am in 20's (hehe).  If I could only turn back time, I would have done the things I failed to do way back then. No, I don't have any regrets, I was just astonished at how time flies away.

Anyway...

Last week, Feb. 9, I celebrated my 33rd birthday.  I promise myself not to prepare anything because it would really take a lot of time and energy cooking and I just plan to bring my family somewhere in a decent restaurant for a dinner. Just for us. However, the plan was totally changed when we learned there were some neighbors pala, forgotten to be invited by us during Chesska's 3rd birthday last month. So I cancel the plan and finally decided to cook for them, asking the help of my mother.

Along with our neighbors, we merrily celebrated my 33rd birthday with the simple foods served on the table including my best-seller daw maja and buko pandan. Of course, there's nothing more joyful than sharing to one another our daily life-stories and "chikahan" that are sometimes off the topic.

As for my personal wishes, I know they were all granted by our loving God, except for one thing.

via: http://president.gov.ph/special/give-peace-in-mindanao-a-chance/

We all know what the families of fallen 44  had gone through up to this time. If I were in their shoes, I couldn't imagine what would I do. I earnestly pray that justice will be served in the soonest possible time without hampering the peace process in Mindanao.  I am from Mindanao too, and I feel the dread if the war arises.

Some people calling for an all-out-war did not realize how many innocent lives will be lost. After the war, what will happen then? Do you think, we'll attain everlasting peace?

Remember, only a small fraction of the Mindanao's population is the perpetrator of the crime. The authorities should only focus capturing them but by not using war as the solution.  I hope our leaders and other citizens as well will not be overpowered by their emotions that will only aggravate the situation in Mindanao.

Once again,  my wish is to push through the peace process and don't make war as a last resort to resolve the current problem.

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In my attempt to wean my toddler off from the breast prior that age, the heart of being a mother has always won me over.  So I kept postponing weaning which rooted from several reasons.

First, the concept of weaning is the thought that I didn't pay much attention mainly.  Because my job as a work-at-home mom has given me an opportunity to look after my daughter 24/7 so I see no reason to refuse to breastfeed. Second, I couldn't afford to see my child from crying and begging for my breast. (Again, I am just a mother.)  Lastly, we cannot deny the fact how beneficial is breastfeeding for mother and child.

1. The supply of breast milk is no longer sufficient to satisfy my child.

Gone are the days where the supply of my milk is like a dripping faucet. Yes, I had an abundant supply of milk for the first semester of breastfeeding, but as my child grows, her demand grows, too. As a result, my supply of milk can no longer sustain her needs up to the satisfaction level.