My older brother and I used to fight when we were younger, maybe, because we differed in many things. Our age gap and gender could have been some of the factors of our constant squabble. We didn't agree on many things that often turned into siblings' fight.
When I see my two girls, 6 and 2, fight each other, it reminds me of my childhood memories. While Chesska was quite excited when Psalm arrived in the family, she sometimes got jealous when our attention was focused on her younger sibling. Well, it is understandable because she'd been our first-born for four years and was used to be the center of attraction.
But when Psalm is a little older and has a personality on her own, the fight started. They are both competing for our attention and love. For instance, when I sat Chesska on my lap, the younger one would cry, wanting to be included too. Aside from that, they keep fighting over toys. Since Chesska owns most of the toys, she will get angry when Psalm snatches the toys from her. The tendency is the younger one would cry and beg us to borrow the toys from her. Yes, we constantly remind Chesska that it's important to share but she's just a kid, too, whose emotion is out of control.
Hearing them fight is so upsetting so here are some tips on how I deal with siblings' fight.
We always made it to the point to have fun together whether watching a movie, taking a walk outside our house or spending a mini-vacation, to establish a good relationship among the family. Creating happy memories can help reduce the conflict between the kids.
When I see my two girls, 6 and 2, fight each other, it reminds me of my childhood memories. While Chesska was quite excited when Psalm arrived in the family, she sometimes got jealous when our attention was focused on her younger sibling. Well, it is understandable because she'd been our first-born for four years and was used to be the center of attraction.
Hearing them fight is so upsetting so here are some tips on how I deal with siblings' fight.
1. Pay Equal Attention
It takes time for the first-born to accept her new sibling because she is already used to a big amount of attention her parents are giving. But I am fortunate to have a partner who is hands-on with my kids. When my attention is too focused with Psalm (since she needs extra care, attention, and protection), he is there to spend more time with Chesska. But when Psalm is asleep, I try my best to read story books and play toys with her. Also, when we run some errands, we make sure to bring them along so they will feel that they are equally loved.
2. Avoid Favoritism
Tip #2 hits me most because I played favoritism at times. I admit I seemed to have neglected Chesska when Psalm arrived in the family. I gave more hugs and kisses to Psalm (you will understand me because babies are naturally cuddly) because I always thought that I had already poured out my attention to Chesska for many years. When both were playing and physical harm was already involved, I right away scolded or pinched Chesska, which is wrong. It's best that when emotion between the kids arise, separate them until they calm down. Talk nicely to the older one that she needs to be caring and loving as ATE (Filipino term for older sister).
3. Have Fun Together as a Family
We always made it to the point to have fun together whether watching a movie, taking a walk outside our house or spending a mini-vacation, to establish a good relationship among the family. Creating happy memories can help reduce the conflict between the kids.
4. Never Compare
I try my best not to compare because both have different personalities. Chesska is a timid and clingy girl yet achiever in school. On the other hand, Psalm is smiling and jolly but I won't expect anything whatever she can achieve in school soon. Plain and simple, NEVER COMPARE.
Have you experienced your kids fighting? How did you deal with it? Feel free to share your story in the comment sections below.
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