How I Get Chesska To Go To School Despite Separation Anxiety

Chesska will be officially grade one next week. It's been three years now since she attended school. And yes, we are surviving! I remember during her first year when she went home crying and refused to attend school anymore. As a parent, I got disappointed. So I wrote a letter to the teacher to clarify the issue and eventually found out that Chesska had been dealing with separation anxiety. Which was no longer a surprise because Chesska was an introvert type of a kid. In other words, she is clingy and shy with many people. If your child is like Chesska,  here are some helpful tips how I get her to go to school.



1. Prepare Your Child For School Before Her First Day to Reduce Anxiety


Every time I enroll Chesska in our preferred school, I always make sure to bring her around the school campus and have her familiarized the new environment that she will be in soon. I even show to her how her classroom looks like. It will somehow reduce her anxiety.  On the academic side, I homeschooled her before she entered pre-school. At least that way, she can keep up with her peers academically. 


2. Accompany Her in School in The First Week Or As Needed



Saying goodbye without tears and letting them go inside the classroom on their own takes time for the children. In Chesska's case, I accompanied her in the classroom for three weeks until she became comfortable with her new peers. I made an effort to introduce her to the teacher and I even approached Chesska's classmates one by one, telling them to befriend her.
Preschool First Day of School


3. Be Generous with Rewards 


When she was on the verge of giving up the school, we tried everything just to coax her to go to school. Since she loved swimming so much, we always promised her that we would go swimming if she finished the five school days straight in a week. To be honest, we almost round all the resorts here in Davao just to grant her request. Week after week, we prepared different rewards like toys, candies, trip to the mall, or simply a compliment. Our efforts were not put into waste because Chesska always ended the school with flying colors. In fact, when she was in preschool, she received two awards: 3rd Honors and Most Behaved and just recently, in Kindergarten,  she received two awards, too, With Honors and Most Diligent. See, what positive results reward can bring!


4. Be Patient 


The secret weapon here is patience. Children having separation anxiety cannot be dealt with overnight.  It must be addressed in a gentle process until they will get used to the new environment which involves socialization. I had had difficulty dealing Chesska's anxiety but as a parent, I refused to give up. For example, just two months ago, Chesska was always asking me until when she would go to school daw.  However, I always diverted her attention into something different such as I promised her to buy a new pony school bag (since she's a huge fan of Pony), school things, and a lunch bag with the Pony characters imprinted on it. Her interest in school was thankfully rekindled and she got excited, too,  to attend school next week. I wish it goes on and on.



Has your child experienced separation anxiety? What are the steps you take to address this issue? Feel free to share your story in the comments section below.








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